Stepping right into the new year.
As if you haven't already heard ...
Mommin' ain't easy.
But it's not just the day-to-day parenting work that's hard ... For me it's all.the.emotions. I posted a while back about Asher's delay in walking. He was a booty-scooter instead of crawler, which usually leads to later-starts in those bigger motor developments. At the time of that post - 15 months old - he had literally ZERO interest in walking. It was becoming clear that we (ugh...I hate when moms use WE for everything when it's their KIDS actually doing it ... but look, there, I just did it too. I'm eye-rolling myself, guys). Anyway, it was becoming clear that HE was going to be further on the delayed side.
I got SO MANY supportive messages after that post.
It was overwhelming in the very best way. Thank you ALL for helping me BELIEVE that every kid has their own story and their own timeline and that every mom feels basically the same way I do when things don't go according to the books. Thank you. Genuinely.
So after that I gave myself and Asher some grace and had 18 months in my mind as a walking-goal. You see, according to most US doctors (and the results of every bajillionth google search I did ...) 18 months is the deadline. The general consensus is that after 18 months there is likely something that needs evaluated and physical therapy is probably warranted. He had previously been seen by a PT and his Ped. that noted no indication for muscle or neuro issues so we haven't been totally sure WHY he wasn't taking those precious first steps.
So I had this mental clock counting down to 18 months ... my friends here in Germany seemed way less concerned about it all. They did tell me Asher needed better walking shoes 😉 but otherwise helped me to find some more grace for both Asher and myself. That helped me to extend that mental deadline to 19 months...
BAHAHA.
Why 19 months? Why do we (😜 ) get an extra month past the general consensus? Well, because that lined up with Christmas. The cross-globe trip where we'd see family and friends that we haven't seen in 6+ months. The trip where Asher would have playdates with all my friends' (walking) kids. So, Asher, you've got 4 months to get.it.together!
Please understand that, for me, this wasn't a competition thing. I do know that every baby moves at his/her own pace. For me, this deadline and all the feelings behind it were driven by MAJOR MOMMY GUILT. If he's not walking by then, maybe there is something wrong, maybe I didn't do anything right, maybe I should have done everything differently. Maybe I carry him too much, maybe our on-the-go-stroller-lifestyle is the cause. Maybe he should have been in daycare all-along. Maybe he isn't getting enough from me as a stay-at-home-mom. Gaaaahhhhh. You guys feel me right????
So long story short (I know what you're thinking...this post is already a novel...). The months rolled along. And Asher still showed little interest. He DID start using his push toy and had gotten up to a practical sprint on that thing. But. He wasn't walking independently. We began seeing a PT [here in Germany] who focused mostly on trying to get him to crawl. You guys. It was torture. My child does NOT WANT TO CRAWL. Crawling, usually comes before walking. I get it. But. Seriously. Let's move on.
So 18 months came...and went...and so did 19 months. But here we are ... 19 months and 17 days old.
And we have ourselves a WALKER!!
The hubs and I came up with a few creative games & new motivators for him and I'd LOVE to take credit for this achievement...but I know it had way more to do with him than with us. Asher is the observer-figure-outer type. He watches our mouths move before he (almost perfectly) repeats a word. His eyes are WIDE, taking in every bit of the world when we travel and he's also really cautious. He is always a little fearful of new places and new things and new sounds even. But warms up quickly. So, this little [HUGE!] achievement was many months in the making and indicative of boosted confidence and courage. Asher's a little man with his own grand plan and we are just along for the ride. We're going to continue with our PT sessions to make sure he is developing good walking habits. But we are just so happy that he finally gained the confidence to take these first adorable steps!
I am sure that I'll look back on this post in years to come and think, oh-my-gosh, we were worried about him walking late??! Whaaaaaa?? If we only knew what we had coming! But, I'll also bet that we'll be able to point to many other milestones and moments where his observant-cautious-figurer-outer personality played a role one way or another.
Thanks for being the cutest little teacher, Asher. We're learning some great lessons on parenting and also about ourselves. We love you.
Oh. And as if Week 1 of 2018 wasn't exciting enough...
Our little walker started SCHOOL! It's much more of a playgroup/daycare than a typical school setting. But it's an adorable little center and when we visited all the kids just seemed so happy and content there. I felt comfortable immediately, and so did Asher. Partially driven by his delayed walking...partially driven by my mommy emotions, I just felt like it was time for him to get more social interaction and spend some more time away from me. He'll be attending 1/2 days on Mondays and Wednesdays. So, it's not a major commitment, but a good one - for both of us. I am dreaming of the first time I get to solo grocery shop!
He looks a little apprehensive in that last pic, but I am finishing this post after his first official school day. And I am SO happy to report that Day 1 was a success. He did WONDERFULLY! And I only teared up once ðŸ˜. The daycare leader sent me updates throughout the morning and told me that he was talkative and social and had so much fun playing. We'll see how day 2 goes, but so far, I am feeling really great about this new step! 2018 is going to be a great year.
Embrace the Wilde,
lindsey
(aka mommy)