Springing Forward.

New Beginnings. New Life. Fresh Starts.

That's what Spring is all about, right? We celebrated Easter Sunday with a little brunch for just the 3 of us. I thought it was also time for some updated fam photos and a few life updates too. Because as Mother Nature ushers in a new season, a new season of life will begin for us too.

We moved to Europe 16 months ago with the anticipation we'd stay for a total of 24. But, life decided to do what it does best and threw us a curve ball. Instead of moving back to the sunflower state in October, we are headed back in June. Just 2 short months away. Bittersweet.

I'm going to save my love-letter to all things expat for a later post, but I do feel like sharing a little bit about how I've been feeling. We miss our family and friends and events and holidays and seeing the little kids in our lives get bigger before our eyes. And we know that life will feel easier in a lot of ways once we're back on US soil. BUT...I'll be totally honest in saying that I've had a hard time swallowing the idea of moving home. I don't want anyone to take offense to that statement. Because it's not you, it's me.

If you're a part of our inner circle of family and friends, you've known that we've known about this move back (while the exact date has been up in the air) for a while. But I've avoided talking about it like.the.plague. I didn't want to admit or accept it, let alone discuss it because just the thought could throw me into a state of throat-clenching emotion. Okay, fine, that's not all. It makes me cry.every.time.

So, why the tears? Well. I feel like I've found my solid ground here and this foreign land has begun to feel familiar. I know where to go for the things I need and I have people to turn to when I don't. I have found a place for myself in what was once choppy, unchartered waters.

Now, suddenly, moving back home feels nerve-racking. I love so much about our life the way it is now and have been struggling to accept the changes that the move back will bring.

This expat experience has given me the world in more ways than one. We've been living a pretty magical-fairytale-travel-life. We can walk out our front door, hop in the car and be in another country in a matter of hours. Our weekend getaways to The Netherlands are about to become way more than a car-ride away and my passport is going to find its home in my desk drawer instead of my backpack.

But on top of that...I have also spent each & everyday with my little baby buddy and when we move back to Kansas, I'll be jumping back in to my pre-expat-pre-baby life and rejoining the working world. Let me say that I am so lucky to be connected to a company that values me enough to save a place for me in their staff and to have a side hustle that gives me cushion. But I'd be lying if I said that I'm not already feeling emotional about the transition to work-mommy! I know that every single supermom deals with this and I'm just facing it a couple of years later than most initially do. But. I'm nervous about the work/life balance thing. I am sort of stressed about the day-to-day things that will require addressing and communication. And I am worried about feeling stressed! The demands of life are so much different in expat life. There are challenges (a bunch of them), but obligations are minimal and we can really do what we want, when we want to do it with little to consider other than nap time.

I know that it will get easier and I will find my groove. I know that everything will work out the way it is meant to. You guys, I've literally had to coach myself thru this whole leaving Europe thing. I've denied, cried, negotiated, cried a little more and now I'm ready (ish) to accept. But also want to embrace.

Last January we threw ourselves into a foreign world and now it is time for us to explore and conquer a new (ish) one. I need to approach this new season with the same sense of curiosity, adventure and openness that I did with this other-worldly move.

... I mean. If I can do THIS, I can do ANYTHING, right?

So, we've purchased a house in Prairie Village and look forward to making it our home.

Kansas, we'll see you in 74 days. In the meantime...Europe, we have 74 days left. Show me whatcha got!

Embrace the Wilde,

lindsey

PS. you guys, Asher thought the tri-pod / self-timer set-up for this little photo sesh was hysterical. I ended up with so many laughing/smiling pics that I had a hard time choosing between them! Any mom of a toddler knows this is like the total opposite of a typical photo experience at this stage. So mamas, take note, set-up that tri-pod & click away!